The optimistic edit

I had abandoned this little blog believing/ hoping it was becoming irrelevant – that life was somehow on the cusp of returning to what it was before the world caught Covid. And because I thought I’d expired my chat on the pitfalls of raising a bébé (in the accent of Moira Rose, for those watching Schitt’s Creek). Clearly I was not yet attuned to the fact that the parental challenges would become different and not less as the little legend grows.

Despite the not insignificant matter of reduced interaction with others during this intense stage of Ruby’s development, I consider myself lucky to have been on mat leave when it all went tits up back in March. As disruptive and disappointing as 2020 has been in myriad ways for many, it’s shifted my outlook and I’m left with the weird sensation of not only being unable to go back to the pre lockdown me, but not really wanting to. Kind of makes sense when you consider all viruses mutate us to some degree. And I’m of the view that we should extract whatever we can from this, so here goes…

It’s the first year I feel like I’ve fully lived all the seasons. I’ve been if not at one with nature then at least in tune with it. We’ve been walking every day – ranging from a couple of laps of the local park to longer stretches round Wandsworth and Wimbledon Commons to big trips round Battersea and Richmond Park. And I’m not exaggerating when I say we’ve faced the elements. The recent Richmond Park walk ended in a downpour the likes of which I’ve only seen in South East Asia on rainy season. It shat it down. Not only did I get soaked down to my underwear while installing Ruby (bone dry) into the car seat for the drive home, it took me ten minutes to collapse the mud caked pram into the boot, and then I accidentally tried to drive our new car over a log in a bid to swiftly exit the car park: the scene of my incompetence.  

We’ve seen my brother Mike most weeks and been walking with him, followed by lunch at ours concocting increasingly adventurous salads. Out of lockdown, we made it to the Kent Coast and The Peak District – after years of talking about holidaying in the UK we’re finally doing it! Did I wish it was hotter? A little. But do I like the reduced travel time with Ruby? Absolutely. And it is rather lovely this country.

Plans became futile. So we’ve not been busy plotting aforementioned holidays and prebooking weekends six months in advance, playing calendar Tetris with equally busy mates as we usually would. We’re focusing on what’s in front of us, which essentially means we’ve freed up a load of time not deciding what to do with our time. We’ve seen our family and friends whenever we could – including an extra special couple of days taking Ruby to see Tom’s parents in the West country where he grew up – and we’ve appreciated them even more.

Priorities changed. We (I) have stopped searching for the perfect Pin to reflect my ideal kitchen aesthetic. I’d still like that beautiful blue Portuguese style tile splashback one day, but it’s not a deal breaker. The splashback we’ve got is alright. I’m lying – it’s actually quite strange, but it just doesn’t seem to matter anymore. I’ve stopped wearing makeup every day because I can get a surprising amount done in the 15 minutes saved on application, not to mention the extra two minutes not removing it before bed. And weirdly, since wearing less makeup, I’ve decided I don’t dislike my face quite as much as I thought I did without it. Or maybe I just care less. Either way, that’s a win too.

For the first time I’m making a proper effort to disconnect, switching WhatsApps for calls where possible and cutting myself off from the infinite scroll by ditching social media apps. We’ve even bought an alarm clock for our bedroom so our phones stay downstairs at night. I swear I’m sleeping better; Tom maintains it makes no difference. Unfortunately Ruby’s canine like hearing seems to detect Tom’s 6.30am work alarm from down the hall before we do, but it’s all a work in progress…  

ANYWAY. I could continue but that seems like enough positivity for now. To anyone who’s made it this far without getting fed up with my inappropriately optimistic tone: thank you! Let me pare it back a touch by saying it’s been a good few days, not least because I’ve been able to channel my inner Vidal Sassoon into cutting Ruby’s fringe and chopping the long, eternally matted sections off the back of her head. According to Tom, she’s now got the hair of Jason Donovan in Neighbours.

Next time I’ll fill you in on the madness of packing in a perfectly good job to explore starting something new whilst raising said bébé… watch this space for a start-up survey (yikes!). In the meantime, I’m sending good vibez for the next few weeks. May your Zooms be minimal, your walks crisp and the red wine robust x