It’s hard to believe it’s only 18 months since I took a wedding vow to be a more patient nurse when Tom is sick. Fast forward to this week and the combination of him contracting Covid19 and us having an eight week old baby has seen me almost break that very solemn vow fifty times over. The problem, I think, is that my worry unfortunately manifests as frustration at the poor patient, who already has more than enough on his plate to deal with (cold sweats, headache, muscle ache, sinus trouble, that cough and exhaustion… the last, of course, hard to distinguish from a symptom of parenting). So I’ve been digging deep. Dashing to and from the kitchen to serve up sweet tea, spicy veggie packed meals and water by the bucket load with a smile I know resembles more of a grimace, as I wonder how long he’ll be poorly and if and when I will be struck with the same grotty symptoms (please, Jesus, not at the same time). Meanwhile, our daughter, already teetering on the edge of a breakdown from being dislodged from my arms for five minutes, hollers from her bouncer for my return.
Tom’s symptoms kicked in proper on Sunday. Any doubt it was in fact the C bomb was removed when his temp sored and the cough commenced. For mine and Ruby’s part, we seem – for the moment – mostly alright, although I’m mindful we are not out of the woods until the two week incubation window is up.
Mother’s Day, as you may imagine, was a mixed bag. I mean, most days are a mixed bag (if we are lucky) for most new parents. To Tom’s enormous credit he managed to bring me tea and porridge in bed, proxy of Ruby who was preoccupied with her own breakfast buffet at the time. Ruby slept in! Then it wasn’t long before our initial jubilance morphed into concern that she too was coming down with symptoms of the virus, worry never far from any minor parental victory. But she was perky and continued showing off by enduring the first of her bathing experiences that wasn’t harrowing for all present.
Just before lunch the start of Tom’s exhaustion kicked in. And so began 48 hours of me wearing the same pyjamas and trying to keep all three of us fed and watered, while Tom struggled his way between the bed and the sofa. It was made more shambolic when Ruby, sensing chaos, decided to do her own bit of stockpiling by upping her feeding game.
It’s been a character building (bloody difficult) few days. On the plus side, a casual bit of self isolation when both Tom and I are back firing on all cylinders will feel like a jolly by comparison. We’ve realised just how nasty this virus is and how it really can take it out of otherwise fit and healthy younger people as well as those vulnerable. The sacrifice of the key workers exposing themselves to contamination to help others astounds me. What we can each do, and what we’ve appreciated hugely, is the messages of support and offers of help from those around us. We will both be paying it forward as soon as we are back on our feet.
This hit us at a time when Ruby is, as my parents say, ‘taking it all in’. She’s upped her game from indiscriminate crying to what appears to be more considered complaining. She’s started issuing warning whinges and waiting for a response before really letting all hell break loose. She’ll grin like a Cheshire cat when we go to get her out of her bouncer/ basket/ pram in what appears to be an attempt to ensure she will indeed be picked up. She recognises the bottle of Gripe Water – old school medicine tasting of mouthwash for baby digestion issues – and starts smacking her lips and almost crying with excitement at having a spoonful. It’s no wonder we’ve taken to dipping the dummy in it and plugging it in her mouth during the most testing times. Except now she’s cottoned on and licks the good stuff off before spitting the dummy out and waiting for another dunk. And, amid the corona chaos that has taken over our house, we’ve both realised how much she’s coming on. How her world keeps expanding and she keeps changing while we – quite literally – aren’t going anywhere.
* Full disclosure: I stole the title of this blog from Jeremy Vine who used it on Radio 2 earlier ahead of Doctor Jarvis discussing the impact of Coronavirus on relationships…That’s right, I listen to Radio 2 now.
Jess, you are fab,